


ride it, my pony

by olive2read



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: F/M, Magic Mike XXL, Nightly Rituals, Podfic Welcome, Rare Pairings, Season 3 & 4 spoiler, channing tatum dancing, mood killer (or is it?), nickname origin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 11:44:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19973521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olive2read/pseuds/olive2read
Summary: Jake discovers Stevie’s nightly ritual and a nickname is born





	ride it, my pony

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place anywhere between S3:E2 “The Throuple” and S4:E2 “Pregnancy Test”

Stevie bit her lip, looking from the glasses on her shelf to the bottle of red wine on her counter, then smiled. _Who am I kidding?_ Grabbing the bottle, she headed over to the couch. She turned on the TV, pulled the video clip up from her recent history, and pressed play, relaxing as the sound of finger snaps began.

She took a large swig from the bottle, watching in rapturous delight as Channing Tatum got hot and heavy with some power tools and furniture pieces. Exactly 2 minutes and 9 seconds later, she rewound and watched again. She felt a little bit bad about never having seen this movie all the way through but, then again, she knew what she liked and she liked this scene. So much. 

It had become a bit of ritual, helping to take the edge off of the day’s events and get her brain relaxed enough to sleep. She allowed herself a maximum five repeats, having worked out the most efficient number necessary to still be having enough fun to rewind it and reset it for the next time. When she went above five, she got lazy about rewinding and then other people came on the screen and there was dialogue and she really didn’t need any of that. She much preferred Channing in this perfectly encapsulated moment. Just him, some power tools, and some music. Well, and some wine, obviously.

On her third rewind, she heard a knock and blinked at the door. Her phone was silent and she wasn’t expecting anyone. Shrugging, she clicked play again. Partway through the video, there was another knock, slightly more insistent. She glared at the door as there was yet another knock.

Sighing, she reluctantly pressed pause and got up.

When she opened the door, she found Jake leaning into the door jamb. He had on his _I know you want my body_ face and, well, he wasn’t _wrong_ , but she also wasn’t interested tonight. She had _plans_.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, putting as much surly into her tone as she could manage without seeming like she was exerting any effort. People rarely appreciated how much work she put into capturing just the right level of surl.

“Hey,” he said, flashing a grin at her. He’d once told her it was his panty-dropping smile and, well, ok, yeah, again, he wasn’t wrong, but it wasn’t like he needed to work at it with her. Fucking was the only sure thing about her thing with Jake.

“Did we have plans?” she asked, knowing full well they hadn’t. Putting the onus of explanation on the other person was another key strategy in her arsenal.

“We could,” he grinned at her, mouth ticking up on one side in what she had to assume was meant to be a rakish curve. 

Stevie could’ve kicked herself. She knew better than to subject herself to that damn smile. She amped up the indifference in her tone to compensate for her melting resolve. “Hmmm, yeah, no. Thanks for stopping by.” 

She tried to close the door but he put out a hand to stop it.

“C’mon, Stevie,” he cajoled.

Stevie rolled her eyes. “Sorry, Jake, but I _already_ have plans.”

He blinked at her. “You’re in your pyjamas.”

“Yep. Good to know your eyes are still working. Now, if we could just get yours ears fixed…”

Jake waggled his eyebrows at her. “Maybe you could check them for me. I’ve always wanted to play doctor.”

Stevie laughed in spite of herself. Fucking Jake. You really couldn’t keep a good boner down, she supposed. Besides, she knew none of her normal tactics for putting people off _ever_ worked on Jake. Subtly sneering, her weapon of choice, was useless against him. He was far too secure in the knowledge that she had a weakness for the things he did with his body. She debated for a moment but the siren song of the video was much less pressing now that she had a randy and available partner. “Fine,” she sighed, turning and heading back into the living room.

She didn’t run, exactly, but she hurried to pick up the remote, intending to remove all trace of what she’d been doing. A powerful wave of relief passed through her when she turned to find him just finishing locking the door.

Jake sauntered slowly up to her and ran his hands up her sides, settling them on to her shoulders. She couldn’t help the shiver that ran through her at his touch. He leaned in close and licked along the shell of her ear, then worked his mouth slowly along her jaw and around to her mouth for a deep kiss. When he finally pulled back, she was breathless and he looked smug, the fucker. Stevie glared at him and he raised an eyebrow in self-satisfied challenge.

A beat passed and then they launched themselves at each other, tearing off clothes, fingers scrabbling and scratching, mouths coming together in short clashes of teeth and tongues. Jake stepped back, rooting around in his jeans until he held up a condom triumphantly. He tore the wrapper and slicked it over his hard shaft and then he was on her again, his hands in her hair as she slid hers around to squeeze his ass. She brought her hands between them and shoved him, hard, knocking him on to the sofa, then straddled him and impaled herself on his cock as her lips sought his again. He thrust up into her, pulling her hair so that her back arched and he could move his mouth down along her throat. His other hand came up and pinched one of her nipples and she moaned, digging her nails into his back.

He moved his hands to her ass and then in an impressively smooth movement, stood and turned, setting her down on the sofa and coming down over her – all without breaking the connection between them. Stevie writhed beneath him. Jake pressed her left leg up into her chest and she sent silent thanks to Twyla for guilting her into yoga over the past few weeks. It was doing wonders for her flexibility, not that she’d ever admit such a thing out loud.

Her free leg flailed a bit, heel digging in between the couch cushions as Jake pistoned between her legs. Her foot connected with something but she didn’t really notice until the unmistakable sounds of Ginuwine’s voice came on over that raspy beat. Jake froze above her and turned to look at the television. Stevie closed her eyes, knowing he would likely never let her live this down.

“You know,” he said, “I’ve got a wood shop.”

Stevie’s brow furrowed and she raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah?”

“If you’re looking for some role play, I could show you some moves.” So saying, he swayed his hips, which, come to think of it, did interesting things to the angle of his cock. Jake nodded, clearly aware of how his movements were affecting her. “Yeah, that’s right, ride it, my pony.” This last was in a sing-song that Jake obviously thought she’d find appealing.

Stevie winced and then cracked up. It still kinda boggled the mind that they were as compatible in bed as they were when they obviously had very different ideas about what was sexy. “Yeah, no, um, if you want to keep fucking, you will _never_ say that again.”

Jake chuckled. “You love it.” He started to sing along with the video. “If you’re horny, let’s do it.”

Stevie grimaced and tweaked one of his nipples, gratified that he had to stop singing to yelp. “I wasn’t kidding. You’re killing the mood here.”

“Aw, c’mon lil pony,” Jake swayed his hips into her a few times.

Stevie shook her head. “No more talking, no more singing.”

Jake laughed and thrust into her, nodding smugly at her when she moaned. Stevie relaxed when he didn’t start to sing again and before long neither of them had the breath to sing or argue. The movie was playing in the background but they were both too focused to care.

Stevie cried out as she came and Jake followed after a few more thrusts. He collapsed on top of her, both of them panting. “Thanks for the ride, pony,” he said, face pressed into her neck, and she could hear the smirk even if she couldn’t see it. She shoved him off, ignoring the indignant “ow!” accompanying his ungainly tumble to the floor.

Rooting around for the remote, she turned the TV off, noting absently that this was furthest she’d ever gotten in the movie. “Ok, we’re done here for tonight,” she told Jake, then stood and headed toward the bathroom.

“Hey!” Jake called out.

Stevie turned around. “Oh, you can let yourself out,” she told him.

“That’s it?” He asked incredulously.

Stevie raised an eyebrow. “Yes?” He just blinked at her so she added, “Thanks again for stopping by, I guess.” She smiled to herself as she shut the door behind her and turned on the shower. That’ll teach him.

She refused to think about the fact that Jake wasn’t really teachable, at least not in anything other than how best to fuck her, or about the fact that she was gonna need a new nighttime ritual. Standing under the spray, she found herself grinning and told herself sternly to stop. Right now. Her face refused to obey. Fuck. She really hoped Jake’s sense of humour wasn’t rubbing off on her but she couldn’t stop a few chuckles. “Fucking pony,” she muttered, still laughing.

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone who hasn’t seen the movie and is curious about the clip Stevie has on repeat, [here’s the video](https://youtu.be/ZqJXFGYzjtE) I used for _research_ in writing this ... happy viewing 😉


End file.
